Who You Are Is How You Are
Originally shared July 10, 2025 in the Naked Sunday Newsletter. Adapted for the journal.
The other night, I was having a conversation over dinner with my wife.
What started as a normal check-in turned into a deeper conversation.
She asked me if I could help her write the vision statement for her school.
She just stepped into the role of principal.
The conversation had started as I had been sharing some thoughts around what I call the Spiritual Health Crisis.
At its core, it’s this:
We’ve forgotten who we are.
Not in some woo-woo, abstract way.
But in a real, day-to-day, “why am I doing any of this?” kind of way.
And when individuals forget who they are…
The systems they build start to forget too.
That’s why this whole conversation around identity is so critical.
To me, identity isn’t just “who you are” as a label.
It’s how you show up.
And the “how” comes from your values.
Your values are the behaviors and beliefs that guide you when things are unclear.
They are the way you embody the best version of yourself—in any room, any role, any season.
That’s why I say:
Who you are… is how you are.
Your values are your compass.
They help you cut through the noise, the opinions, the “shoulds,” and the shiny distractions.
They’re the machete clearing the path so you can actually see your purpose.
Not chase it.
Not force it.
But see it clearly—because the path has been cleared.
That’s what a true vision is.
It’s not something you make up just to sound good.
It’s something that emerges—
when you remove what’s not you, and come back to what is.
This is why so many people feel stuck or confused or unmotivated.
They’re trying to force alignment with a vision that wasn’t born from their truth.
And when you do that, it doesn’t matter how many hours you put in—it’s going to feel off.
So if you’ve been spinning your wheels, ask yourself this:
Do I know what I truly value?
Am I actually living those values?
Or am I trying to lead a life that doesn’t even feel like mine?
You can’t build alignment without clarity.
You can’t lead others if you haven’t led yourself.
And you can’t lead yourself if you don’t know who you are.
Related reflections
Until next time…
Love. Every. Body.
