Let Yourself Enjoy What You’ve Built
Originally shared September 19, 2024 in the Naked Sunday Newsletter. Adapted for the journal.
High performers often struggle to simply enjoy when things are going well.
Have you ever found yourself feeling guilty for being happy, for reaching a point of success, or just for enjoying a simple moment?
What would it feel like to fully embrace those good moments without guilt?
This week, I had a moment that hit close to home. I was on a mid-morning walk with my wife and daughter—something that, on the surface, should feel like a pure win. But instead of soaking in the joy of spending quality time with them, my mind raced with guilt. Thoughts about what I should be doing, what work needed my attention, and what I wasn’t achieving started to creep in.
I realized the reason for my unease: I was comparing my situation to others. I started thinking about how many people don’t have the flexibility to take a 90-minute walk on a Tuesday morning, and that thought alone almost made me undermine my own joy.
But here’s the truth:
I’ve worked hard and made countless difficult decisions to design my life this way. I wanted to have the freedom to enjoy these special moments—holding hands with my wife, walking with our newborn daughter, on a beautiful September morning. That’s my version of the American dream, and if I allowed myself to feel guilty for it, I’d be missing the whole point of the work I’ve done.
Does this sound familiar?…
When was the last time you paused to enjoy what you’ve built, without the need to compare or downplay your success for the sake of others? Maybe you’ve consistently created financial success without burning yourself out, or you’re fully happy in the relationship you’ve worked hard to build with your spouse—but you feel guilty because others aren’t experiencing the same.
Whether it’s someone who’s lost weight and feels great in their body, but suddenly feels guilty because others aren’t willing to do the same—or someone who makes time for self-care, but starts to feel bad that others aren’t as intentional with their schedule… this is something I see over and over again in my clients.
Why do we do this?
We play ourselves down to the level of others, stripping away the things that bring us joy and success, all because we feel uncomfortable standing in our own happiness. But here’s the truth: You’re not obligated to dull your joy simply because others aren’t willing to take the steps to create that for themselves.
What would change if you allowed yourself to experience happiness fully, without apologizing for it or shrinking to fit someone else’s comfort zone?
When you stop worrying about keeping everyone else happy, you can finally come back to enjoying your version of success. Be fully present, appreciate what you’ve worked for, and create more of it for yourself.
You didn’t build this life to feel guilty about it.
You built it to enjoy it.
So go ahead…let yourself feel good.
Related reflections
- Are You Living a Life Worth Modeling for Your Children?
- What Going Broke at 26 Taught Me About Gratitude
Until next time…
Love. Every. Body.
