Don’t Confuse the Method With the Goal
Originally shared September 12, 2024 in the Naked Sunday Newsletter. Adapted for the journal.
We all want success, but it’s easy to get trapped into thinking there’s only one way to achieve it. When we become fixated on the method instead of the result, we limit our potential for growth and creativity. In two separate coaching sessions, I had clients that faced this challenge recently, and their stories are an important reminder of why flexibility and trusting yourself are essential.
Client 1: She loves rowing on her erg that has a function where she can compete online, was thrown off her fitness routine when her rower lost its internet connection. With no way to compete against others, she felt blocked—thinking success only came from outperforming her peers. But I reminded her that her true strength is her creativity. We discussed how she was limiting herself by defining success too narrowly, so we recalibrated her fitness goals for the month. Instead of competing with others, she created a mini-challenge for herself: a total meter goal on the rower, combined with pullups and pushups. This gave her the flexibility to adapt to life’s demands, whether it was picking up the kids or managing her busy client schedule. Most importantly, she realized that she controlled her path to success—by focusing on what made her feel fulfilled, she rediscovered her passion and stayed on track.
Client 2: His challenge was on a business end. A lifelong learner and expert in his field in marketing, he found himself hitting a creativity block by rigidly following someone else’s program working on a new skill of building a following through YouTube. Even though he had grown tremendously, the framework they were teaching was now holding him back from simply connecting with his audience and building relationships with sharing information that was helpful. He realized that while the program had served its purpose, it was time to step back and reconnect with his own internal guidance, and using skills in the way that best works for him. By simplifying his approach, he made things easier and reignited his passion for his craft. He didn’t need to follow a strict path laid out by someone else—he trusted his own skills to show up fully.
What do both these clients have in common? They both learned a valuable lesson: when you cling too tightly to a specific way of doing things, you box yourself in. And here’s the thing—you are not some robot-clone following someone else’s rules. You have unique skills, experiences, and preferences, and life will ebb and flow. Sure, there are basic fundamentals that apply universally, but some “guru’s” way is only one way to achieve success.
If you keep choosing their voice over your own, you’ll force yourself into a box that limits your creativity. You’ll stop being able to play and adapt to your unique circumstances, and success will feel harder than it needs to be. True mastery doesn’t come from following a 12-step, cookie-cutter program—it comes from building a personal, custom approach that’s aligned with who you are.
The takeaway? Sometimes you have to let go of good to chase after great. Mastery is about thriving no matter the circumstances—using your skills to adapt, grow, and succeed on your own terms.
Are you stuck in someone else’s framework, or are you ready to create your own path?
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Until next time…
Love. Every. Body.
